Femme Forward – Lancaster, PA

Members of the LGBTQ+ community have always existed. Their outward Pride has not.

Not to say that queer people experiencing pride for their own experiences and sexuality has never existed, but as a society, we are just now starting to accept this pride – and break down the stereotypes associated with it. Pride within the LGBTQ+ community does not take away the spotlight for heterosexual individuals, or strip them of their rights or voices for the entire month of June. Though these are things that the LGBTQ+ community and other marginalized groups have experienced throughout history.

LGBTQ+ history is not a subject that is widely taught in any schools within the United States, but we could all benefit from a history lesson if we are to continue on the path towards education through intersectionality. The first Pride Parade – originally coined the “Christopher Street Liberation Day March” – took place in New York in 1970, on the one year anniversary of the famous Stonewall Inn riots.

The events that took place at the Stonewall Inn were made famous by Marsha P. Johnson, as well as Sylvia Rivera. This iconic duo would continue to do work throughout NY supporting those whose voices would have been otherwise silenced, including founding STAR House for LGBTQ+ youth experiencing homelessness, with a focus on supporting people of color. In 1973, when the NYC Pride organizers banned drag queens (including Johnson) from participating, she and Rivera marched ahead of the parade.

To make Marsha’s long, tragic story short: pride as we know it today would not exist without trans women of color.

Her bravery and unwavering dedication to supporting the LGBTQ+ community lives on throughout the year, and is an important piece of history to remember as we celebrate year round and especially during the month of June.

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As someone who has personal experiences with the journey of accepting my own sexuality or gender expression, I want to use my platform to highlight and share my experiences. Not that I think my own experience is groundbreakingly unique – I would like to share for the exact opposite reason. For those who are just starting to recognize and shape their feelings behind accepting themselves, I think it’s important to share that not everyone has a perfect, easy, or accepting experience. Whether the lack of acceptance is coming from friends, family, or the person themselves.

I came out “later in life” in 2021, when I was 22. I had recently gone through a peak pandemic break up with someone I had been with for almost 4 years. On top of all the emotions of a “normal” breakup like, sadness and anger, I felt one emotion the most: guilt. Guilt for all the years I had spent ignoring how I really felt, on top of feeling like I had just ruined a good person’s life because I wasn’t able to be honest with myself.

I had spent the months prior wrestling with my true feelings, crying myself to sleep and shoving any feelings that something was “off” even further below the surface. Thinking back on it now as an adult, this is something I had become accustomed to since I was a teenager – ignoring all the signs and wishing for someone to be able to explain why I felt this way.

Fast forward to 2024, I have since been doing some self reflection and therapy sessions to acknowledge my internalized homophobia and am so much more at ease with my own feelings. I am an openly proud lesbian who has the support of my amazing partner and family. I wish I could go back three years ago, when I felt incredibly confused and lonely, and reassure my younger self that I would come to love and accept myself, even if I was gay. 

And all of the right people will too.

If sharing my experiences makes even one less person feel alone on their journey, I consider my work here done (until next time).